I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
