summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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