I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
