you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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