Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
