She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
