My first STD was from a foam party
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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