His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
