I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
