I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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