PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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