oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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