She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
