Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize