lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
do herpes really smell.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
