Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
