No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
how do you play pong handcuffed?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
