we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
