Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
