he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I need to calm my uterus...
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
