Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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