Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
