gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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