Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
