I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
