nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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