What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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