Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days

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(850): View more from Florida

She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever

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(816): View more from Missouri

He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.

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(925): View more from California

Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.

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(905): View more from Ontario

I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers

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(646): View more from New York

His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.

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(302): View more from Delaware

You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.

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(+61): View more from Australia

HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS

(+61): View more from Australia

SHIRT GONE

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