I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
