is wine microwaveable?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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