i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
