it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
