I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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