Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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