I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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