I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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