how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
