Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
