So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
