My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
