A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
