smell my finger.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
