so explain again why im purple
no
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
