so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
