I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
