Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I love having hate sex.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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