Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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