I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I have so many feelings about this burrito
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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