i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
she pinky promised me she was 18
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
