I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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