i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
