meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize