if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Can I color on your dick again?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
