the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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