Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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