i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
