it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
