He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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