Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
