My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
