You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
