Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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