im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I need to sanitize my soul.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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