Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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