Ambien. No doubt about it.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Houston, we have a blender
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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