i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
