If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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